yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
two words...techno handjob
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
