i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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