She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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