Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
