i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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