his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize