she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ketchup is God's man juice
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
