you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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