Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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