Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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