Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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