Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
