I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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