So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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