'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
