why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
