Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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