what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i think i just lost a toe
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
