Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
