Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize