That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
