Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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