that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
