I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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