whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
