I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
how does that bad decision feel?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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