sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
