plz talk dirty to me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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