True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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