we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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