they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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