she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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