How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
