is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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