Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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