yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
