I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
