He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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