1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize