fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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