We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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