her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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