she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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