I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
