They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
