Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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