This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i would punch a child for taco bell
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
