what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
