I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
