He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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