smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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