Porn is love you can see.
what day is it and did you see me today?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
