That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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