Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
