I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
