is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
