Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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