Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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