JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
