As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize