Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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