i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
