Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
